Improving Dialogue

A Simple Process for Repairing and Enlivening Troublesome Speech

May 29, 2007 Tyler Feltmate

A useful tool that will help iron-out the wrinkles in dialogue by emphasizing meaning and motive, defining speaker-traits and clarifying colloquialism

When it comes to writing fiction, dialogue is a double-edged component for almost any author. On the one hand, it’s among the foremost methods of defining character traits and mindset, of injecting flare and flavour into a plot and, when combined with the narrative voice, of forging the overall tone of the book as a whole.

On the other hand, dialogue is, bar-none in the minds of most, the hardest part of crafting quality fiction. On their first read-through of the completed manuscript, a good one-half of the material an author ends up labouring over anew will be spoken content.

Here then, is a straightforward tool for troubleshooting that irksome conversation or droning, lifeless monologue.

Start at the Core

On a separate sheet or Word file (do not erase the passage under review, as this is your reference) re-write the statement, though deprive it of all colloquialisms, contractions and colourful flare. Creative and characterizing wordplay are integral for both good narrative and dialogue, but the effort to achieve such should not be allowed to override basic function, so keep content as the core of your statement, rather than form. At this stage, if your character is saying that he’ll be going on a week-long trip, simply write “I will be going on a trip for one week.”

The First Signs of Life

With the bare bones in place, it’s time to flesh things out. The task here is essentially to take what has been written and turn it into what has been said. Add contractions and turns-of-phrase that the act of speech normally injects. In other words, envision yourself speaking these words to another (and don’t worry if your character uses different slang, jargon, etc. than you, those will come later). Chances are that you wouldn’t speak in as stilted a form as the example above, so how would it sound? Perhaps like this: “I’ll be gone on a week-long trip.”

Enter the Voice

Now that the sentence at least sounds like something that the average person would say, the goal is to make it something your character alone would utter. Include now all qualities of accent, dialect, educational status, etc. that make your speaker’s voice unique. Be extremely careful at this point though, as additions, contractions and omissions for the sake of colloquial phrasing are often the dividing line between a creative commune and a crippled, incomprehensible jumble with more commas and dashes than actual letters. With that in mind, our example now reads “I’ll be off an’ gone for a good week.”

Effects of Circumstance

When all is said and done, give the final thought to your speaker’s situation. Consider their feelings about what they’re saying, who they’re saying it to, and any other relevant factors. With the dialogue expressed as this particular person normally would, it's now time to word it as they might in this specific situation. Consider the emotion that would lay behind the words and whether there is any other underlying meaning that is going unsaid but should still be picked-up on by the reader. The finished product might thus read “I’ll be off an’ gone for a good week . . . at the very least.”

A final point to keep in mind is that some of these steps may not apply, given the character and circumstance. If your speaker has a certain robotic quality about them (think Data from Star Trek) they might be perfectly at-ease with phrasing that moves little beyond the framework of step one. Always use this tool to remove the kinks, and never the character.

The copyright of the article Improving Dialogue in Writing Fiction is owned by Tyler Feltmate. Permission to republish Improving Dialogue in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.

How would this sound on paper?